In the process of dating a person for a romantic relationship, you have to assess their attachment style. A lot of people may think that this step is unnecessary before going into a relationship since all you really need is to feel the spark. But, you may want to reconsider especially if you end up with a person that has an anxious attachment style.
A Partner With An Anxious Attachment Style Will Be Very Dependent And Clingy
Essentially, there are three basic attachment styles: secure which is ideal, avoidant which puts up walls or maintains distance, and anxious attachment style which involves dependency. Let’s focus on the last one. If your potential partner has the following characteristics, it could mean that his or her attachment style is anxious.
1. Constantly Seeking Attention
We all need to be validated from time to time. But, if you or your partner are the types who constantly seek validation, it’s a sign that you want to feel secure. Questions like, “Do you love me? Am I pretty/handsome?” and the like get thrown around in the relationship often.
2. Seeking Care From Others
Those who have the anxious attachment style are secretly happy when they get sick. It’s ironic, but when a person gets sick they become harder to leave behind, right? So the anxious person knows that the people around him or her won’t be able to say no. Also, when a person is sick, extra love and care are given.
It’s normal for a couple to feel jealousy within a relationship. However, you’ll be able to tell an anxious person apart because he or she will feel jealous towards friends and even family members. For example, your anxious partner may feel jealous of his or her siblings. This comes from the feeling of not being enough.
So what do you do now? If your partner does have an anxious attachment style, then you have to be ready to deal with his or her clinginess and dependence. You have to be ready to set boundaries while still allowing him or her to feel loved and cared for. For more dating and relationship tips, read other posts on the blog.